We have been misled when it comes to grief. It doesn't follow a timeline and there aren't five stages that we have to check off before we're "better." Whether it's the loss of a loved one, a pet, a relationship, or even a job, there is no universal roadmap towards healing. 

Grief is an isolating experience because of a culture that dictates we should move past the pain as quickly as possible, find hope in it, and move on as if it never happened. Even the medical model suggests that there is something disordered in grieving for longer than a few weeks after a loss. Simply put - that's bullshit. The loss of a loved one rocks our world, can challenge our belief system, throws off what we thought our lives would look like, and is an intensely personal process in terms of healing. No one but you gets to determine how you grieve, how long it hurts, and how you make sense of the loss.

In a world that suggests you should be "over it," we want you to know that it's okay that you are still sad and hurting. Why wouldn't you be? Because there is no getting over it. While we can't move past the pain, we can certainly learn to move forward and integrate it into our lives. If you feel that you don't have a space to discuss the depth of your pain or you feel like you should have moved on from a loss, please feel free to reach out for support.
 

Resources

"It's OK that You're Not OK" by Megan Devine
“When You’re Grief ‘Doesn’t Count’”